A Thank You to My Parents

Family is a funny thing. You live in a house for 18 years and are shaped and molded by your parents. Then the time comes to leave the nest. In my case, I moved 5 hours away just a few weeks after my high school graduation and that was that. I'm so incredibly grateful to my parents for letting me go. Now that I'm a mom, I can fully imagine the gravity of that process. But they did it so gracefully. They let me go to make my own life, my own mistakes, form my own opinions and learn how to move through this world as an adult who isn't afraid to be independent. There is a true separation that happens and it is completely necessary. Sure, we kept in touch and visited but they were no longer part of my day to day decision making. They weren't hovering over me throughout this time in my life when I was becoming an adult and I'm so thankful they were able to let me do that on my own.

But there is a two-fold process here and there comes a sort of odd phase of getting to know the adult child. It's tempting to revert to old roles and patterns of behavior in order to keep the family dynamic the same as it's always been. Even as an adult, there is a strong impulse to please your parents and be the person you think they want you to be. But I am thankful that, instead, my parents prefer to know the person that I've truly become. Sure, my father probably wishes that I was not a registered Democrat but I know that he still loves me and is proud of me. What I'm trying to say is that there is value in getting to know your adult children as they truly are and not as you want them to be.

This all may sound quite simple and obvious but the more I contemplate this phase of parenthood the more I realize it's probably not very easy. Giving up control, cutting the cord, and taking a back seat while your children grow up and then loving them unconditionally once they "return." That is what my parents did and that is what I will strive to do with my own children.

Thank you to my Momma and Daddy for loving me and my husband and the life I've built for myself.